Trans, Deaf, Disabled, and a Proud Southern Woman. | Body Positive Boudoir Photographer
Last week I was in Oklahoma City to photograph a wedding (photos coming soon), and while I was there I also did a couple of boudoir sessions, including this one. I had a great time getting to know Sorcha, and during our consultation before the shoot, we had some really great conversation, which I recorded so I could share it with you all.
I’m gonna keep this intro short & sweet and let Sorcha’s words speak for this shoot. The first portion of this post is the conversation we had before the shoot, and the second portion is her thoughts after seeing the photos. I hope you enjoy!
What’s your story?
“I’m Sorcha. I am a 26-year-old digital artist. I live in Oklahoma. I’m married to the love of my life. I’m trans. I’m on the asexual spectrum. I’m deaf. I’m disabled. I’m in love with the world, and making stories.
I didn’t come out as trans until I was 22 or 23. I didn’t even know what the word “transgender” was until I was in University. I was constantly being “othered” when I was growing up. I was weird. I was always too intense and too soft and too introspective to really fit the mold of what a boy was supposed to be, and there were times when I experienced physical violence because of it. I was sexually assaulted by an upperclassman when I was fourteen, and it didn’t feel like he was doing it to a boy, it felt like he was doing it to a girl. A girl who was just very different.”
What’s it like being trans in Oklahoma?
“There was a trans woman of color, BreYanna Stevenson, who was killed in Oklahoma City in 2017, and it was the first big murder here in a while. Even though we had never met and we were from completely different backgrounds, that deeply affected me. I’m not going to sugar coat it and say that it’s easy being trans in the South. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve felt so unsafe that I’ve considered running away, but there are good things about living in the South too. Here you get an interesting blend of southern hospitality mixed in with queer culture. There’s another trans woman who lives here, who has really become a second mother to me, and she and I have taken in other people who are disadvantaged, and we’ve given them a home and a group of people who support them and love them. We’ve formed a family of about 20 people, and even though we aren’t all super close, for a while they were the only family I had. For a lot of us, all we have is each other.
The other day, my aunt told me I’m a “strong Southern woman”, (side note- I think that’s one of the most beautiful things anyone in my family has ever said to me), and I think that pretty well incapsulates being visibly queer in the south. Despite what we go through and the opposition we face, we’re strong, and a lot of us, myself included are very proud to be southern.”
Why do you make art?
“Narrative art really speaks to me. I want to make stories about people like me, and people I care about. I think that representation is super, super important, but I think people having a platform to tell their specific personal truth is even more important. I would love to be able to use my platform to give a voice to other people who are far less privileged than I am, who are more marginalized, more vulnerable… and also just as valid, just as beautiful, just as fantastic.”
Why do you want to do a boudoir shoot?
“Because it scares the hell out of me, and I tend to think that things that scare me are things that I should do, especially something so personal and so incredibly vulnerable. I’m at a point in my life where I’m no longer ashamed of my body, and, for the first time, I finally like myself.
I’ve never seen another queer person do a boudoir shoot, especially in the South, and I think the logic stands that if I’ve never seen one before, I think pretty much every other person in my position has also never seen one before. I’m the first girl like me that I’m aware of who’s done something like this and I think there’s power in that. I think boudoir photography is a service that should be offered to all kinds of women, and I don’t think it should stop there. I think everyone should be given the chance to feel good about themselves and their bodies. As scared as I am, I’m really excited as well.”
“Going into this shoot, I didn’t really know what to expect. Being deaf, I was mostly worried that Nena would get tired of me asking her to repeat herself, or asking her to turn her head so I could read her lips more clearly. I didn’t really have a lot of anxiety about the shoot itself, and any anxiety I did have went out the window the first time we said hello to each other in person.
Nena was so kind and attentive and really worked to understand my story and my experience. I felt like we were creating art together during the shoot, collaborating on poses and facial expressions together. I felt powerful and sexy and confident. Nena awakened something in me that wanted to love myself and wanted me to celebrate my body and my identity and I am eternally grateful to her for that.
Looking at the photos now, I have a much better feel for what body truly looks like. I can safely say that any feelings of dysphoria that I did have going in, are completely gone. This experience will forever be my trump card in my arsenal of ways to combat the aching pain that dysphoria and body dysmorphia bring.
As a survivor of EDNOS, (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified) these photos have shown me how beautiful my body and my person actually are. I am thankfully in a much better place now than I was when I was in the worst of my eating disorder, and these photos showcase that, I feel, beautifully.
Every person, not just women, should have this experience to feel beautiful, to feel sexy, to feel powerful. Boudoir has changed my life and given me a newfound sense of self-confidence (not to mention a desire to own ALL of the lingerie) and an even greater sense of self-worth. I have a body that is way better than I ever thought it was.”